The FTM Haircut: Getting Your Hair Cut Like a Man or Boy

Getting a typical male haircut can often be the first step in looking like a guy.

However, if you are in a woman's body, getting a male style haircut is often more difficult than one would think.

This is because many hairstylists are reluctant to cut a woman's (or someone they perceive as a woman) hair really short.

I'd been wearing men's clothes for years, but it was only a few years ago that I decided to change my hairstyle. Until then, my hair was rather long and at least shoulder length at the very shortest.

So, I made an appointment at a unisex beauty salon and asked them to cut my hair short like a boy's.

The hairstylist was more than happy to cut my hair short, but she kept trying to give me a girly-style hair cut. I told her that was not what I wanted and she kept saying things like "You've got to keep it wispy so you don't look like a boy."

I finally got her to take off the "wispy" parts, but the hair style was still much too feminine for my needs.

So, I made another appointment somewhere else. This place didn't try to give me a really girly hairstyle, but when I asked them to use the clippers on the back and sides and to use a number 2 they did ask me if I realized that I'd be left with hair only about 1/4 of an inch long. It told them that yes, I did know that and that was why I was asking for it.

I got my hair cut there a few times and then found another hair stylist. Thankfully, this one doesn't give me trouble about getting my "man hair."

Because of the problems encountered in obtaining "man hair" many transmen go to the barber shop to get their hair cut. The upside to going to the barber shop is that you won't have to worry about ending up with a girly style, however, the downside could be that you may get some peculiar looks while you are there. I haven't tried the barber shop myself because I've been afraid that they'll refuse to cut my hair or something like that.

You'll see a lot of information on the Web about what to say when you go in to get a man's haircut if you are stuck in a woman's body. For example, you could tell them you are in a play and need to look like a boy. However, I believe that it is best to just go in and tell them what you want. You don't need to give them a reason. The fact that you've asked for it (and are paying for it) is reason enough for them to give you the hair cut you want.

If your hair stylist won't cut your hair they way you want, then find a new one.

I found that I had the best results when I just went in and was very direct about what I wanted. I specifically asked them to cut my hair exactly as if I were a man. That is when I finally got the hair cut I wanted.

Society's Reaction to the Haircut

In general, people don't react positively to my male-style hair cut.

First, when I'm leaving the hair salon I always get odd looks from several people.

I think that at first glance people who don't know me often mistake me for a boy or man, but upon closer inspection they realize that I have a woman's body and then they either look at me oddly or they make sarcastic or unkind remarks. I've even had people who don't even know me get really hostile and threaten me because of my hair (as if my hair is their business!).

Oddly, people never seemed to be upset that I wore men's clothing as long as I still had long hair. It is the short hair cut that really seems to upset people.

The reactions from people who do know me are not as bad, but still not that great. For some time I was in a graduate program and everyone in the program new I was transgendered and so they at least "understood" why I had the hair cut.

However, even knowing I was a tranny didn't stop them from having false beliefs about why I had the male hair cut and wore the men's clothes. Often, they'd make statements that I just didn't care about my appearance and that was why I didn't care about having a feminine appearance. I would try to explain to them that yes, I do care about my appearance, but that I just can't do the girl thing. I don't believe they ever did get it, despite that these were psychology PhD students. Although they didn't seem to get the male hair/appearance concept, overall, they were a pretty tolerant group.

In other settings I'm not as "out" about my transness and so I don't know what they attribute the hair to. I think they probably just think I'm a really butch lesbian.

I expect that I've probably been denied jobs because of my hair/appearance.

It must be great for people who are not trans - they go and get a haircut and everyone (or at least some people) compliment them on their new hair cut/style. For transpeople - we go and get a hair cut and all we get is rude comments and people staring at us because we don't fit neatly into society's socially constructed gender categories.

So Why Do It?

I can't speak for everyone, but I do it because I have to. I cannot pretend to feel feminine when I don't feel that way. In fact, I feel very strongly masculine and so I must do what feels right to me even if there are those who can't/won't understand.

I need my external appearance to reflect my internal identity.

I imagine it is the same for most or all transpeople.