FTM & Transgender Information - An-InvisibleMan.com

What it's Like to be Transgendered

Most often people misunderstand transgendered people and often think that being transgendered is no big deal and that it doesn't affect your life much.

However, being transgendered affects every aspect of one's life.

From the moment someone determines our biological sex, they have much of our life predetermined for us. If we are a biological female they expect us to like pink, want to carry a purse, be interested in boys and makeup, and wear dresses.

Our biological sex determines the clothes we are allowed to wear, the hairstyle society expects us to have, what toys we are given as children, and much more.

There are also other more subtle expectations that society has for us based on our biological sex. For example, if you are in a female body you are expected to smile more, walk in a particular way, and be more accommodating toward other people than if you are male.

I guess this is fine for people whose biological sex matches their gender identity - and no these two are NOT the same thing.

Biological Sex versus Gender Identity

Recently I've noticed many forms and documents that ask for one's gender when what they are really asking for is biological sex. I think this is because as a society we are so uptight that we try to avoid using the word sex when at all possible. The problem arises in that one's biological sex and one's gender identity are not always the same. For example, I have a biological sex of female, but a gender identity of male.

However, if I were to put male on one of these forms that ask for my gender, people wouldn't understand. In the case of a job application, if I were to put male where it asked for gender I almost certainly would not get the job.

So, What's the Big Deal? It's Only Words

The problem with this type of wording is that it helps to reinforce in people's mind that one's gender identity and one's biological sex are always the same, which for those of us who are trans, this is just not true.

This type of thinking reinforces the intolerance that many people have toward transgendered people.

Being Trans is Hard - and I'm Not Kidding!

Can you imagine being expected to live your life and conduct your activities in a way that is inconsistent with how you feel?

It's rough.

One really good movie that depicts how difficult it is to be trans is Ma vie en rose (My Life in Pink). This is a nicely done film about a very feminine boy who is ostracized for not behaving in a masculine manner. If you haven't seen the movie it is certainly worth watching.

One can either go on pretending in an attempt to please the rest of the world or one can be true to his or herself.

Why Don't Transgendered People Just Pretend to Fit In?

After all, wouldn't that be easier?

For most transpeople it just isn't possible to continue pretending to be something they are not. It's like not really living at all if you can't be yourself.

Reproductive Organs Don't Determine Gender Identity

Unless you really believe that people think with their genitals then the male/female reproductive organs don't have anything to do with how one feels or their gender identity. It is the brain that controls what one feels and one's gender identity. There is a lot of scientific evidence that there is a biological basis for gender identity.

What this means is that if you are trans (or not) it isn't your fault and being trans is just another natural variation of behavior. Being transgendered is nothing to be feared or hated, any more than not being transgendered is.

Should You Take Hormones?

This is really an individual choice, and there are also many barriers in place to obtaining hormones.

When most people think of transpeople, they typically think of them in terms of those who have transitioned via hormones. However, most transgendered people do not take hormones. This is often because hormones are very difficult to obtain and it takes a lot of money, which many trans people don't have. Let me repeat this - There are more transgendered people who have NOT transitioned via hormones than those who have. This does not make their feelings of transgenderness any less valid.

In many ways it is harder to live your life halfway in between genders than it is to take the plunge and change your gender presentation through hormones. That is, if one is even able to obtain the necessary hormones to change.

For example, while watching Boys Don't Cry (for the millionth time) I realized that I had transitioned to the point that I was somewhere in between genders. I dress only in men's clothes, I have a male-style haircut, and don't wear makeup, jewelry, or really wear or do anything remotely feminine.

The only thing I'm missing is testosterone. Another article will be forthcoming about why I am still pre-T, as well as the pros and cons of taking synthetic testosterone.

Because I dress in a masculine manner, but still have a female looking face and body, people realize right away that there is something different about me, which often leads to harassment and crude remarks from others.

Non trans people get a new hair cut or buy some new clothes and get compliments on them. Usually trans people only get peculiar stares or crude remarks because their new clothes or haircut don't match what society expects them to wear.

Being Unhappy with One's Body

In addition to all of the negative social implications related to being transgendered, most transpeople are not pleased with their physical body either. How many transmen do you know that are happy they have breast? I'm guessing none or very few.

I was trying to explain to a friend of mine what it's like to be a transgendered person and she said, "I'm not happy with my body either" (she is overweight). I told her that at least she could change hers if she wanted to without other people freaking out and her parents disowning her. Feeling like you are in the body of the wrong sex is not the same as being unhappy with your body because you are overweight. Being transgendered and feeling like you are stuck in the wrong body is much more distressing and it's much harder to change your body to one you do feel comfortable in.

So What's a Tranny to Do?

All we can really do is stick together and lobby congress for change, and hope that eventually society's attitude toward us will change to a more positive one.

At one time gays and lesbians were ostracized, but now many states are voting on whether or not they should be allowed to marry. Many companies now offer same-sex partner benefits and prohibit discrimination against gays and lesbians. There are also television shows, such as The L Word and Queer as Folk that many years ago would never have made it onto TV. The climate has certainly changed for gays and lesbians and so hopefully the climate will eventually change for transpeople as well.